presidential Wannabee, Pat Buchanan echoed strong words off Mt. Rushmore this week. It was his standard "in your face" style of oratory that flew into the collective stone faces of Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt and Jefferson.

pat's view of world economy is certainly "American" and his trade tax proposals on Japanese and Chinese imports are . . . interesting. But what's in a name? Toyota - Hibachi - Nissan?

i just finished shopping and will get a Bic pen to check off my purchases. Here are my meandering thoughts while wandering through the store --- "need some vitamins so how about some Green Giant veggies . . . and Vaseline to help my dry skin amid this Illinois winter. Regardless of what OJ calls it, I love Tropicana OJ. How about Sealtest ice cream for its tasty fat and some Breyers non-fat yogurt for dietary balance. I'll definitely need these Good Humor bars to distribute at some grim faculty committee meetings. My dog insists on Alpo, but that schizophrenic cat can't decide: Friskies or Fancy Feast ? Down the list: Lipton tea; Dannon yogurt; and Q-Tips. Better get some Closeup toothpaste, too . . just in case I get close up to Julia Roberts (who claims she never has any dates). I savor Hills Brothers coffee. Motts applesauce is a staple . . . Ball Park Franks . . . Ragu; and a Cup of Soup. Clarence Birdseye discovered how to flash-freeze food so in his honor let's take some icy cuisine . . . add some Carnation Coffeemate . . . and Libbys fruit. Early summer and fall registration advising begins soon -- and I'll need to be Light 'n Lively. That's it -- shopping is done for the moment."

not one of the items above, President Buchanan, is an "American product." All those companies are owned by 'dem fourenors.' "now out to the parking lot. Where did I leave my Toyota -- the one made in California and sold by residents of Mattoon. Oooops, before I take these things home and put them in my Frigidare, I must get that Weed Eater just in case spring makes an appearance. But dang it, I'm too impulsive. Those cute 13" RCA tvees are on sale so I'll get one for my office desk. Impending spring chores are on my mind so I'll grab a gallon of Glidden paint. Can't believe the great price on Nintendo games -- so I'll get two. "Finished. Once again, nothing purchased was an "American" product.

i sometimes do show shopping restraint. I resisted an urge to get Godiva chocolates. Braun had a sale on electric razors but I decided to stay with the cheap Bic throwaways. Too bad. Godiva chocolates and Braun appliances -- are American.

stopped for gas at a Shell station and since they had a sale on Michelin tires - I scheduled an appointment to get two front ones next week. Shell, by the way, is own by the Dutch, and Michelin isn't "American" either. While paying for the fuel, a vending machine was being stocked with Kent; Kool and Benson / Hedges. While the tobacco is "American," none of those cigarette companies are.

once home, I was putting away the Hills Brothers, and spilled half the can -- so I turned on the Electrolux and cleaned up an expensive mess. Electrolux is another foreign product.

pat, I love your stance on "family values" ( although you must remember Charles Manson had a family ). YouÕll enjoy this story. I was reminiscing about my family reunion. My brother drove up in his Mazda Navajo ( made at a Ford plant in Kentucky ); and my sister came in her Ford Probe ( from a Mazda plant in Michigan ). Big Brother, Jack, arrived with a Dodge Colt ( born in a Mitsubishi plant in Japan ). My favorite niece, Lindy showed up in her Ford Festiva ( which was made in South Korea ). My son has a Nissan Sentra ( from Tennessee ), and my daughter, a Honda Civic ( made in Ohio ).

wish my family were more financially successful. I'd love to see Andrew motor in behind the wheel of a Lotus ( 100% owned by GM ). Margot would roar home with her Lamborghini ( 100% owned by Chrysler ), while Jack would arrive in his Jaguar ( 100% owned by Ford ). Big sister would drive from New York in her Saab ( 50% owned by GM ) and brother, PJ, would show off his Aston Martin ( 75% owned by Ford ). But none of the Leydens have any cash, so that's why we were reunited at a moderately priced Holiday Inn ( which is owned by a corporation in the United Kingdom ).

we had breakfast at an A&W restaurant ( owned by Unilever, an Anglo-Dutch conglomerate ) and planned a great menu for our "American picnic in the park" which featured the aforementioned Ball Park Franks and Sealtest Ice Cream.

unfortunately, some trouble erupted as it sometimes does during family reunions. In this case the ruckus was caused by non-Leydens. There was an "America for Americans Rally" going on, and the sight of our Toyota, Mazda, Honda and Nissan struck a sour chord with some of its participants. They confronted me, and using a cool ( but cowardly ) conflict resolution approach, I avoided any physical confrontation.

when the leader picked up a rock and threatened to hurl it through my windshield, I begged her to put it down -- but not because of any damage it would do to the car. I won her favor by pointing out exactly what she was about to do. "You see, Patricia, the granite you are holding was made by Batholith Enterprises, a Canadian manufacturer of igneous rocks. They exported it to Illinois using the Wisconsin Glacier. So how would it look for a true 'American' to employ a 'foreign rock' to do her work ? You could be investigated by the Senate Unamerican Activities Committee. And another thing, Patricia - the Wisconsin Glacier - it wasn't American, either. Much of its ice was imported from Canada."

so what is in a name ?

Toyota or RCA or Braun or Carnation. Pat Buchanan might be able to tell a book by its cover but he can't tell the holding company from its corporate logo.

Leyden note:
a batholith is a large - very large: perhaps 20 miles in diameter and a mile thick ( for example ) -- 'supply' of molten rock called magma -- a fact that you can take for 'granite.' When it comes to the surface it is called, lava. Ha ha -- a little subterranean humor.